Just Say NO

The countdown has begun.  I spoke with my parents today and I was grateful that the conversation about Christmas gifts lasted a whole 30 seconds.  I think everyone in the United States who thinks they have an addiciton to shopping should do what I did.  Live in another country that has little to buy and what you can buy is so outrageously expensive, you don't even consider buying anything other than maybe underwear and only if you're desperate.

I spent four years living in an Eastern European country and although the country does have malls, anything recognizable as 'western'  - say a familiar label - will cost you nothing less than three times what you would spend in your local mall here in the States.  The real bruiser; most of the items would be classified as "seconds" here so there is a distinguishable flaw that brought the product to the Eastern European country.  The U.S. dumping ground for the rag trade.

I've been avoiding T.V. commercials, avoiding shopping malls and avoiding anything that makes my mind wander into, what should I buy my neighbor's dog for Christmas?  Yes, I have gone there, that's why I'm now avoiding it.

This Christmas season is developing into a really healthy one.  The plus side is, it's not having a thing to do with spending money.

Wrinkles and Time

For our Christmas vacation my family and I will be heading to Seattle where my husband and I grew up. It will be a return after six months of living in the Silicon Valley. I'm doing my best not to hyperventilate over who I should try to see or where we should spend our time. Do I kiss the fam goodbye and tell them to meet back in two weeks so we aren't fighting over what we should do every day?
Facing friends and family. The wrinkles are hanging on even when I'm not smiling. I wondered to myself, when did I start to care about such things?  My travel schedule these past five years has kept me from seeing people for months, sometimes even years. When we meet I am always so delighted, and I mean really delighted to see how they have aged. Not because it's a vanity contest - who looks the most well preserved - but because we are aging and that's not such a bad thing. In a friend's eyes I see him or her; the essence of who that person is, not the shell.  When people look unchanged, it's weird. I spend more time studying their face; is it a tuck, Botox, an expensive ointment?  I can't even concentrate on what's being said. 

As I tell my children, 'Any wrinkles I have, I've earned!'  I think a kabuki face discredits our humanity.  Life does have it's effects and when I'm used up, it will be okay to look the part.  I want to live out fully whatever I have in me, without regrets.  I don't know, what if going out without makeup meant I was going to miss the crazy fun happening outside my window or the flab on my legs kept me from jumping into the surf with my son.   I would miss out on life because of my vanity. How stupid is that.  If people pick me as a friend because I look good, shame on me for having chosen friendships out of shallow pools.

I look forward to seeing friends, who have aged with me.  We get to catch up on the war stories and joys that have given us our concerned brow and our laugh lines. Wrinkles and time, our emerging culture seems to short both with a vengeance.